Are all men alike???

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
-Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
-Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
-Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
-Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
-Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins ...
-Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
-Condition your hair with grapefruit mint-conditioner.
-Wash your face with apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
-Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
-Rinse conditioner off hair.
-Shave armpits and legs.
-Turn off shower.
-Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
-Spray mold spots with Tilex.
-Get out of shower.
-Dry with a towel the size of a small country.
-Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
-Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
-Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
-Walk naked to the bathroom.
-If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo- woo sound.
-Look at your manly physique in the mirror admiring the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
-Get in the shower.
-Wash your face.
-Wash your armpits.
-Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
-Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
-Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
-Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs sticking on the soap.
-Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
-Pee.
-Rinse off and get out of shower.
-Partially dry off.
-Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
-Admire wiener size in mirror again.
-Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
-Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
-Throw wet towel on bed.
-If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day!
Oh, and...woo-woo!

Maybe these odd "manly" behaviors have been passed down to all men since Adam???

Comments

mccall said…
This was hilarious. I have to admit that my husband is more thorough/neat than I am. I am more likely to get the floor all wet with the water. Oops!
Thurston Fam said…
I think I am more man myself! I am all about walking naked to the shower! ha ha ha.. I laughed hard at this post!! Thanks
Ash Trump said…
Oh My Gosh that is hilarious!!!!! I could not stop laughing ;o)
Anonymous said…
Ah ha ha ha ha haaaaaa! One word...YES!
The Walkers said…
Too true. Too true. At least the stuff about the men.
KO said…
I've read that email before and laughed to hard. When I shared it with Chase, he couldn't have agreed more. Oh the joys of marriage:)!
Christy said…
Haha that's great!! Boy am I in for a surprise... apparently! =)
Loni and Tyler said…
Oh that could not be any true!!!! Makes me laugh so hard Rach! You know I will be making Ty read this!
I don't know what's wrong with your husband....mine would NEVER do that!!
Hannah said…
Oh my gosh I am laughing so hard, my stomach hurts! So is Sean, I had to show it to him. he laughed so hard! Thanks for the great humor in your posts:)

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