From Bad to Worse! (My journal entry)
After the tail bone procedure I got the flu, which wouldn't have been so bad if my tail bone was healing. Each day the pain would increase and I was migrating more to laying on my stomach all day. By Thursday Ibuprofen and Tylenol weren't working at all and I was experiencing sharp/intense pain even while laying still. I reverted to peeing in a cup because sitting wasn't an option. I pretty much cried the day away in pain awaiting Scott's return from work. It's intense how trials work on the inner self, I wanted God to heal me immediately!
When Scott got home, he really earned the "Husband of the Year" Award. He spent the next few hours waiting on me- getting a humidifier, fixing me dinner, changing mattresses, getting me pills, renting me a movie, icing my tail bone, heating and reheating my heat pack etc. The more we go through the more I understand true love. As the night progressed I began a long bout of anxiety attacks due to my pain. My body was shaking I was hyperventilating and sobbing. We decided not to go to the ER because what would they do? Put me in a room for hours and rack up a huge bill. Thankfully Sandra got home from Minnesota that night, it always amazes me how moms just know what to do. She got me an Ativan and I slept for a few hours.
The next morning I got acupuncture and found no results. Then we went to the Centerville health clinic to try and get prescription for Loritab. The Dr. took one look at my tail bone and informed me that what the Chiropractor thought was a ton of inflammation and blood pooling was in fact a giant infected boil. It probably formed from tissue damage after the fall. No wonder the increasing sharp pain! He said we needed to immediately remove it. I thought no big deal....Thats when I took a step into Hell. Thank you for doctors that are willing to do the unpleasant things! He informed me he would try to numb it with a shot but it hardly works. He shot me at least ten times- if you haven't had a numbing shot, trust me you never want one! Then, he used his scalpel and cut a slit down the middle and proceeded to dig around inside the boil to try and get all the pockets of pus and blood. I felt every cut and thought I was dying. Scott was standing at the top of the operating bed offering support as I struggled through some of the worst pains I have ever felt. I cried, held my breath, was shaking like crazy, but the pain continued on. He tried the numbing shot again and again, then went back to the scalpel. Still no relief, I guess numbing doesn't work very well on infected areas and the deeper the boil the harder it is for it to work. He used his j shaped scissor tool to push all around the edges of the boil-this was the worst of all the pain. He pushed his weight down around the boil to get all the liquid he could out, then started stuffing the hole with this skinny long gauze. (Boils have to heal from the inside out)
About when I thought I was going to pass out from pain, Scott passed out! He fell forward right on my head, the Dr. yelled for help and a few other Doctors ran in and took Scott out. Scott claims he was feeling really tense because I was in so much pain and most likely he locked his knees. In the end they gave me a "feel good" shot in the butt. (Butt Shots BURN before they feel good) I have to go back and get the wound re packed for the next two weeks; I went in today and yes it hurt when they pulled the gauze out, but nothing in comparison to yesterday, I can handle 13 more times of that. Now that it's all said and done, it's pretty funny Scott passed out!
During the little surgery I tried to boost my courage by thinking of the people who had experienced much worse under the scalpel before the times of anesthetics; Joseph Smith, the pioneers who got limbs amputated, women who had their breasts removed from cancer, Holocaust victims, war veterans, etc. I kept telling myself I am stronger then this. I felt so much gratitude for the people who have left their story of trials and how they overcame them. I thought of my Grams and how much she endured in one lifetime- (polio, depression, war, death of loved ones, strokes, major surgeries, kidney failure) She's my hero; we can always endure more then we think. I truly believe trials are how we become more like our Savior. I remember when I was in Jr. High and one of my sisters was struggling with depression. I was so mad at her for not getting up in the morning, for standing people up, etc. The truth was I didn't understand it. The first time I went through a bout of depression I was so thankful for that sister who understood me and that trial. I felt bad for the judgment I had so wrongfully placed upon her. I never understood grief until someone I loved died, now I can empathize with others who have lost a loved one and truly understand their feelings. Is that not what the atonement is all about, actually believing even knowing that Christ truly understands our pain and wants to help us make it through? Looking back, the lowest times have made me stronger. If broken tail bones, painful boils, and the flu are going to help me carry Christ's image in my countenance then I can keep enduring through the hard times.
ps If there is ever a next time I will be put out!
pss The good news is that Brooke had her baby yesterday! Caleb Rees;) I can't wait to meet him!
When Scott got home, he really earned the "Husband of the Year" Award. He spent the next few hours waiting on me- getting a humidifier, fixing me dinner, changing mattresses, getting me pills, renting me a movie, icing my tail bone, heating and reheating my heat pack etc. The more we go through the more I understand true love. As the night progressed I began a long bout of anxiety attacks due to my pain. My body was shaking I was hyperventilating and sobbing. We decided not to go to the ER because what would they do? Put me in a room for hours and rack up a huge bill. Thankfully Sandra got home from Minnesota that night, it always amazes me how moms just know what to do. She got me an Ativan and I slept for a few hours.
The next morning I got acupuncture and found no results. Then we went to the Centerville health clinic to try and get prescription for Loritab. The Dr. took one look at my tail bone and informed me that what the Chiropractor thought was a ton of inflammation and blood pooling was in fact a giant infected boil. It probably formed from tissue damage after the fall. No wonder the increasing sharp pain! He said we needed to immediately remove it. I thought no big deal....Thats when I took a step into Hell. Thank you for doctors that are willing to do the unpleasant things! He informed me he would try to numb it with a shot but it hardly works. He shot me at least ten times- if you haven't had a numbing shot, trust me you never want one! Then, he used his scalpel and cut a slit down the middle and proceeded to dig around inside the boil to try and get all the pockets of pus and blood. I felt every cut and thought I was dying. Scott was standing at the top of the operating bed offering support as I struggled through some of the worst pains I have ever felt. I cried, held my breath, was shaking like crazy, but the pain continued on. He tried the numbing shot again and again, then went back to the scalpel. Still no relief, I guess numbing doesn't work very well on infected areas and the deeper the boil the harder it is for it to work. He used his j shaped scissor tool to push all around the edges of the boil-this was the worst of all the pain. He pushed his weight down around the boil to get all the liquid he could out, then started stuffing the hole with this skinny long gauze. (Boils have to heal from the inside out)
About when I thought I was going to pass out from pain, Scott passed out! He fell forward right on my head, the Dr. yelled for help and a few other Doctors ran in and took Scott out. Scott claims he was feeling really tense because I was in so much pain and most likely he locked his knees. In the end they gave me a "feel good" shot in the butt. (Butt Shots BURN before they feel good) I have to go back and get the wound re packed for the next two weeks; I went in today and yes it hurt when they pulled the gauze out, but nothing in comparison to yesterday, I can handle 13 more times of that. Now that it's all said and done, it's pretty funny Scott passed out!
During the little surgery I tried to boost my courage by thinking of the people who had experienced much worse under the scalpel before the times of anesthetics; Joseph Smith, the pioneers who got limbs amputated, women who had their breasts removed from cancer, Holocaust victims, war veterans, etc. I kept telling myself I am stronger then this. I felt so much gratitude for the people who have left their story of trials and how they overcame them. I thought of my Grams and how much she endured in one lifetime- (polio, depression, war, death of loved ones, strokes, major surgeries, kidney failure) She's my hero; we can always endure more then we think. I truly believe trials are how we become more like our Savior. I remember when I was in Jr. High and one of my sisters was struggling with depression. I was so mad at her for not getting up in the morning, for standing people up, etc. The truth was I didn't understand it. The first time I went through a bout of depression I was so thankful for that sister who understood me and that trial. I felt bad for the judgment I had so wrongfully placed upon her. I never understood grief until someone I loved died, now I can empathize with others who have lost a loved one and truly understand their feelings. Is that not what the atonement is all about, actually believing even knowing that Christ truly understands our pain and wants to help us make it through? Looking back, the lowest times have made me stronger. If broken tail bones, painful boils, and the flu are going to help me carry Christ's image in my countenance then I can keep enduring through the hard times.
ps If there is ever a next time I will be put out!
pss The good news is that Brooke had her baby yesterday! Caleb Rees;) I can't wait to meet him!
Comments
I can't believe you already bought something! What a great friend. :) So your votes a girl huh? I still can't decide what I think. And yes... 2 more weeks seems like FOREVER to find out what it is. I'm just too cheap to use fetal photos.
Holly
love you and i need to come see you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUU9CqrtFiU
I can't believe all the stuff you've had to endure lately! I hope your boil heals and you never have to go through that again. After I had Jonathan I told Ammon that I'd like to be put out next time too. Luckily I have Mommy-brain and am quickly forgetting the pain. Plus I did get something in the end ... unlike a kidney stone or a boil! I hope you're feeling better.